Kim Kardashian in a bikini

Ever had a fantasy about Kim Kardashian grilling you delicious hamburgers while wearing a bikini?




Your dreams have come true, my friend. Provided you ignore the fact her ass is conveniently missing in every shot which is kind of making me think this is really a nightmare. Only one way to find out: Are Heidi and Spencer still alive? Yes? Fuck it's a nightmare.



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Cheryl Cole: 'Hey. Are my breasts hanging out?'

Cheryl Cole of Girls Aloud celebrated her 26th birthday last night wearing a dress that apparently exists for the sole purpose of making me go "Aw, c'mon!" Seriously, if I had an archnemesis, one day he'd have me strapped to a bomb only to reveal he designed this dress. And also invented DUI laws. -- You fiend!


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Bianca Gascoigne in a bikini

Here's British model/reality star Bianca Gascoigne tanning at Nikki Beach this week. I don't know much about her except she's in a bikini.





Oh, and wears a hat. She wears a hat. See? I noticed something besides her breasts.



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Alicia Mayer